baby&dog

Baby and The Family Dog

Best Friends Forever
By Sarah Carrington
IMOM Board of Directors

"In loving memory of Banjo who taught us so much".

YES! You can keep your whole family together!

Your dog has always been important to you. He has shown you unconditional love and has been with you through all your ups and downs. Now you are having a baby!

CONGRATULATIONS! You are in for the best time of your life! Among your whole family that will support you and your baby - you have your beloved dog who will be there with his love, silent understanding and playful nudges. What an incredible lesson for your child as she grows to adulthood, she will learn about pure love and devotion from her beloved pup. She will learn to love all animals, how to treat them with respect and how to care for them. Along with these lessons, she will likely have fewer allergies! According to a study published in the August 28, 2002 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association children raised in a house with two or more dogs or cats during the first year of life show a significantly reduced risk of developing allergic diseases as compared with children raised without pets. This study was supported by the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) and the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences (NIEHS).

As you prepare your house and the baby's room so too must you prepare you pet. You have 10 months to work on those last problems he may have. He may be a jumper or a biter (those little nips on your fingers when you give him a treat). This is the time to really work with him. I wholeheartedly recommend a trainer who only teaches positive reinforcement methods. You don't need to scare your dog to teach him to listen. Nor do you want him frightened around your child. Physical punishment teaches your dog to be afraid and aggressive. That's not a good recipe for keeping your family together.
So let's get started!

PREPARE:
Prepare your dog for the new baby. Will you be able to give your dog all the attention you are giving him now? If you can't possibly bring yourself to giving him less attention now then be prepared to work hard when the baby comes to give him lots of attention then. Otherwise you may need to start giving him a little less attention before your baby is born. You don't want your dog to associate the lack of attention with the arrival of the new baby, leaving him to think she is competition or a threat. I'm not suggesting you should neglect your pet or ignore him before the baby comes. But he may need to learn "it's not your turn". And when the baby does come you need to remember that he too needs your time and attention.

Start carrying around a doll so that your pet gets used to you having your arms full. Wrap the doll in a baby's blanket that has a baby's scent or sprinkle baby powder/lotion on it. Walk around the house with the wrapped doll as if it were your baby, talk to it, put it on your lap while watching TV, let your dog sniff it. Watch how he reacts and work out any issues that come up. Does he want to crawl in your lap when the baby is there? Remind him it isn't his turn and encourage him to lie quietly near by. Later give your partner the doll and take some time to pet and play with your dog. Teach him that he will get attention but he may have to wait. Help your dog get used to seeing you with a bundle in your arms, and you'll get used to figuring out how to hold your baby and still give your pup some scratches behind the ears.

Your dog will need to get used to all the new gadgets you have for your baby. Let him sniff things as you put them together. Give him a chance to get used to the swing - first with it still and then as it swings. Let your dog sniff the new stroller. Once he gets used to it, take him for walks and bring the stroller. It takes some practice so your dog doesn't get run over by the wheels. It's easier to practice with out a baby on board! Praise your dog when he accepts his new surroundings.

Play a CD of baby sounds. Start off with the volume low and then increase the volume slowly to the level of a real baby as he gets used to it. Preparing Fido is one example of a CD that has recorded baby sounds such as crying and cooing and laughing baby sounds. http://www.preparingfido.com/

After your baby is born ask the hospital for a cap that she has worn so you can take it home to your dog. Let him smell the cap that has your baby's scent on it. Let him carry it around and get used to it. When you bring your baby home, let the dog smell her. Stay close and never leave your pet and baby alone together. But remember every day to give your dog a chance to sniff the baby, let him get used to her presence. As she grows and walks remember to always allow them time together under supervision.

TEACH YOUR DOG BEFORE THE BABY ARRIVES:
Teach gentle when taking treats - don't let your dog bite your hand when taking treats and praise him when he takes it gently. Keep the treat if his teeth touch your hand and try again so he is only rewarded when he takes it gently. Soon your baby will be able to grasp objects and if your dog knows how to take treats gently she can start giving your dog treats too! This teaches your dog that your baby is important to the pack and offers food. Your dog should learn Leave-it as well. Sometimes baby's food is for baby and a quick leave-it will tell your dog it isn't for him this time.

Quiet or Shhhh - don't wake the baby! Does your dog woof or wag his tail against all doors and walls in the house? Teach your dog to be quiet when the baby is sleeping. If your dog is barking, say Good speak and find out what he is barking at! "Yes, that's a squirrel outside, good boy!" Then hold a treat out and say shhhhhh. He'll quiet down to take the treat - say good Shhhh! Also remember that if you keep your house perfectly quiet for the baby - she'll never be able to sleep unless it is perfectly quiet. It is often difficult to stop your pet from barking when the doorbell rings or a squirrel invades the back yard. Early exposure to doorbells, phones and woofs will help her to be less startled when she hears them. Eventually she'll be able to sleep right through these sounds and she won't wake when your pup occasionally says hello to the pizza guy!

No Jump! Teach your dog not to jump up on people. Turning your back on him when he's jumping on you stops the attention. When he stops jumping turn around and give him a treat or a good scratch on the back. Say GOOD DOG!! If he starts to jump again - turn away immediately and keep your back to him. He'll learn he doesn't get attention when he jumps and he gets lots of attention when he sits quietly!

Does your dog cuddle on the couch with you? You may want to teach your dog he can come up when invited so he doesn't try to jump up while the baby is being dressed or changed. Some dogs with aggressive tendencies will act dominant if they are at the same level or above humans/babies. For most dogs this isn't an issue but be aware of how your dog acts while you are all on the couch. If there is a problem handle it now. Follow the NILIF program - Nothing In Life Is Free. If you search the internet you will find a lot of information on this. As your child grows she's going to be all over the floor. Sometimes the couch is a safe place for your dog, where he can stay with the family but not be pulled on by the baby. For some dogs the better option is on the other side of the baby gate. But this keeps him from the family as well. Encourage your dog to join you, try to work out options that allow you to be together as a family. The more your baby and dog are together the sooner they will get used to each other.

So your dog is untrainable. Even the trainer said so. Don't believe them. Find another trainer or behaviorist. And consider - are you truly doing all that is needed at home to reinforce what you learned during the training class? Are you giving your dog enough exercise so he's calm enough to pay attention to his lessons? You would never give up if it was your child. You are setting an example for your child; teach her that no one gets thrown away when the going gets tough.

TEACH YOUR CHILD:
Teach your child to respect dogs, cats and all pets. Don't allow her to pull tails' fur or ears. Animals are not toys, jungle gyms or ponies, they are living beings that are sensitive and feel pain. Yet pets do not know that defending themselves by biting and scratching is unacceptable behavior to humans. Teach both how to interact with each other. Allow your baby to pet your dog with an open hand, gently, with your hand guiding hers, say gentle each time. Just like teaching your dog how to behave around your child you also need to teach your child how to be kind and gentle to her dog. Pay attention to your dog's reaction. He may be uneasy about the baby touching him. They both need to practice. If he growls or raises his lip - stop. Ease back. Let your dog get used the baby, her smells and her touch.

Never leave a child alone with your dog until the child is 8-10 years old. No matter how good and gentle your pet has always been they will defend themselves when they feel threatened. Thousands of children are bitten by dogs every year, many by the family dog. You need to make sure your child is careful around the dog. When you can't watch them closely, put your baby and dog on opposite sides of the baby gate. Teach your child to leave a dog alone when he is playing with a toy, eating, chewing a bone or sleeping.

Teach your child to avoid strange dogs. They should never walk up to a strange dog and start petting it or talking to it. If the owner is there teach your child to always ask if they can pet the dog first. Then show her how to approach a dog with her hand extended below his nose. Let him sniff her hand before she starts petting the dog. Some dogs that seem calm and friendly could be uncomfortable and aggressive to children. Never assume a dog is friendly. A child should never reach into a car window or fenced yard to pet a dog, no matter how friendly he seems. This is a dog's territory, they will protect it and can jump fences. If the dog is loose and alone teach your child to move safely away and leave the dog alone. If the dog seems aggressive or frightened (snarling, fur on the back standing up, baring teeth, curling lips, lunging, blocking path or tail tucked) don't make eye contact. Remain calm and wait until the dog loses interest before moving away. Never run away from the dog screaming. Keep your arms flat against your sides, talk soothingly or sing a relaxing song and if you have some food drop it on the ground- hopefully the dog will go for that. Then calmly walk away, backwards, staying aware of where the dog is at all times. If the dog does attack, teach her to fold her arms and protect her face. If pushed down, teach her to lie on her stomach and wrap her arms around her head and wait until help comes. In general teach your child to love and be gentle with animals but to also respect their space and signals.

EXERCISE:
Your dog needs to go for a walk. You and your baby could use some fresh air. Take them both out! I found that it was much easier to put a baby in a Bjorn or Moby Wrap (cloth that wraps around you and swaddles your baby to you). If your dog starts pulling on his leash you aren't trying to hold him back and keep your stroller on the sidewalk. Although strollers do have an advantage as they provide shade. If you have 2 dogs take one for a walk in the morning and one in the evening. Is it baby's nap time? That's a great time to go for a walk! She'll sleep peacefully to the gentle rocking motion as you walk. She may start out fussing but a little time outside, gently swaying and off to sleep she'll go.

Keep a normal routine with your dog. If you can keep a routine with the dog throughout this early period, the dog will be more inclined to accept changes going on in the house. Be diligent about taking your dog for his regular exercise. If your dog isn't able to expend his own excess energies, his behavior will deteriorate from boredom and loneliness.

Some people find that their dogs are very energetic and they just can't give their pet what he needs while getting used to the newborn's schedule. Find a family member, friend or neighbor who can help walk your pet while you adjust to your new schedule. But work out a plan so that you can be sure to work your pet back into your schedule. You would make time for an energetic child and you can make time for a pet as well.

RELAX:
Fur time will be one of your biggest helpers when your newborn arrives. Take advantage of it! When baby first comes home she'll be awake every 2-4 hours. It can be stressful to go from being awake caring for your baby to sleeping immediately and then waking up again in what might only be a 1/2 hour. Fun time is helpful here. Petting your pet will help you to relax and settle down. Once your baby has fallen asleep, take a few minutes to give your pet some attention. Why not - you're going to be tired anyway - what's a few more minutes? But it's the world to your pup.

Do you have your hands full with your baby? If you have a significant other helping - have him/her give your pup some attention while the other's hands are full. Do you have other children so his/her hands are full too? Consider how parents of 3 kids do it - they make the effort and each child gets some attention. Your effort will pay off with his love and affection. Mom's hormones may be going crazy after she has the baby and you'll both be lacking sleep as well. Take it down a notch and enjoy the calming effects of giving your pet a belly rub or scratch on the back.

MEDICAL ISSUES:
One final thought, if your dog starts acting differently since the baby came along it could be a medical problem. Don't be so quick to chalking it up to he is acting "jealous" because he's not getting as much attention. It's easy to think that dogs act and react like a person does but in reality they don't. Don't be slow to bring your dog to the vet to get a check up. You might find the reason for his change in behavior is medical.

As your baby grows you'll realize there are always new challenges to keeping your family together. Soon your baby will be crawling, walking, climbing and bringing new challenges to the household. Keep working with your child and your dog, teaching both how to interact with each other. Enjoy your adventures together!

reprinted with kind permission from Sarah Rutledge (formally Carrington)
http://www.imom.org

The above information is simply informational. It's intent is not to replace the advice of a veterinarian nor to assist you in making a diagnosis of your pet. Please consult with your own veterinarian for confirmation of any diagnosis. Your pets life may depend on it.