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Canine Euthanasia
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A Dog Well
Remembered..
…..For if the dog be well remembered, if sometimes he leaps through
your dreams actual as in life, eyes kindling, laughing, begging, it
matters not where that dog sleeps - on a hill where the wind is
un-rebuked and the trees are roaring, or beside a stream he knew in
puppyhood, or somewhere in the flatness of a pasture land where most
exhilarating cattle graze. It is one to the dog, and all one to
you, and nothing is gained and nothing is lost - if memory lives.
But there is one best place to bury a dog. If you bury him on this
spot, he will come to you when you call - come to you over the grim,
dim frontiers of death, and down the well-remembered path and to
your side again. And though you call a dozen living dogs to heel
they shall not growl at him nor resent his coming, for he belongs
there. People may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass
bent by his footfalls, who hear no whimper, people who may never
really have had a dog. Smile at them, for you shall know something
that is hidden from them. The one best place to bury a good dog is
in the heart of his master.
Author Unknown |
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THE
POWER OF THE DOG
Rudyard
Kipling
There
is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
But when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and sisters I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.
Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie--
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart for a dog to tear.
When the fourteen years that nature permits
Are closing in asthma or tumors or fits
And the vet's unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers, or loaded guns.
Then you will find--its your own affair
But--you've given your heart to a dog to tear.
When the body that lived at your single will
When the whimper of welcome is stilled (how still!)
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone--wherever it goes--for good,
You still discover how much you care
And will give your heart to a dog to tear.
We've sorrow enough in the natural way
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we've kept 'em the more do we grieve;
For when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short time loan is as bad as a long--
So why in Heaven (before we are there)
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?
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Euthanasia
Right or Wrong
Euthanasia: Is it morally acceptable to destroy a
physically healthy dog?
When is the right time to end the life of a dog? Is it when
he is too unwell to enjoy any quality of life? Is it when he is at
death's door? Or is it when you can't get him to sit?
There are countless varying opinions on the subject of dog
euthanasia and the vast majority contain very worthwhile points of
view. However, in order to implement a universal code of ethics on the
subject it is essential for certain animal welfare authorities to agree
on certain things with regards to euthanasia. What is meant by 'universal
code of ethics' in this context is a collection of many opinions on when
it is right to put a dog down, in order to reduce the amount of unnecessary
dog deaths and the amount of undue suffering to dogs.
Comparisons with human euthanasia can only be drawn to a
certain extent as the denotation of euthanasia includes the words 'merciful'
and 'help'. This suggests that there has been some sort of request
made on the part of the sufferer and this can not be true in the case
of dogs.
The majority of dog lovers in the world would agree that
it would be cruel to actively
keep a dog alive if he was in obvious pain and had no quality
of life. Would it be cruel to continue feeding the dog if he was
in obvious pain and had no quality of life but to offer it no medication
or pain relief? Who decides whether a dog has no quality of life? It's
certainly not the dog himself it is usually the family from which the
dog comes upon the advice of the veterinary surgeon. This is a seemingly
logical sequence of events, but isn't every person's definition of quality
of life totally different? What if dogs that are perfectly happy are
being euthanised because they are slower or less active? What if a dog
that is in extreme pain is kept alive because it does not appear ill or
in pain?
The most common way to humanely put a dog down is by lethal
injection. The solution used is called sodium pentobarbital, this
substance is administered intravenously and results in two of three
things. Firstly, the recipient will experience rapid loss of consciousness
followed by either cardiac or respiratory arrest. The animal will feel
absolutely no pain as it drifts into unconsciousness. This method of euthanasia
gave rise to the euphemism ' to put to sleep'.
Other methods used by vets include the injection of a substance
called T-61. This is a type of neuro-muscular blocking agent. This
method causes paralysis and pain and is generally not the favoured
method of euthanasia with most vets.
Arguments frequently arise upon discussion of one particular
method of euthanasia. Shooting is considered by many as a more humane
way of euthanasia than sodium pentobarbital or T-61. However, one argument
is that this method is barbaric and disrespectful to the dog. To take
a dog out into a field or yard and simply put a gun to his head and end
his life is deemed to be inhumane. What if the gun misfires and the
dog is accidentally shot in the stomach or back and is left in pain
and shock with only death to bring an end? What are the social implications
of validating the ownership of firearms for this reason, when there
are other methods of euthanasia which pose no possible threat to parties
not involved in the ownership of dogs? These are all very logical arguments,
all though there are very valid arguments to the contrary. Why should
a struggling farmer, for example, have to pay to have his own dog killed
when he can do it for free in the privacy of his own home? Many people argue
that the environment of a veterinary surgery is stressful to a dog, and
that a dog should not spend his last moments somewhere he doesn't feel comfortable
or happy. Some dog owners argue that to take a dog out into a field and
put some food down for him is the only humane way to do it. The last thing
he will know will be the smell of his food and the feeling of freedom and
happiness he gets from being outside, then gun is put to his head before
he even has time to look up. Why should any body pay for their dog to be
killed by a stranger when they can end it peacefully in their own home?
There are many reasons for dog owners to consider euthanasia,
some of which have clear benefits whilst others are considered unnecessary.
The only person who really knows when the circumstances warrant euthanasia
is the dog's owner. A vet can perform a clinical examination to determine
whether the dog is afflicted with an illness or condition, but only the
dog's owner knows whether the dog can cope with things or if he is not
enjoying life anymore. It seems only right to put a suffering animal out
of it's misery, but what if a dog is to be euthanised not because of illness
but for some other reason, lack of space at the rescue centre perhaps?
Dogs do stray, that is the unfortunate fact. Some breeds
are more notorious for straying than others. The six most common stray
breeds are, Labrador retriever, Golden retriever, German Shepard, Beagle,
Siberian Husky and Rottweiler. Would it be reasonable to put a dog down
because it escaped and the owner could not be traced?
A view shared by many is that an 'adoptable' dog should
never be put down. But the term 'adoptable' has different connotations
depending on people's views on what they want in a dog. This is why,
to avoid unnecessary killings of stray or abandoned dogs, it is essential
that a 'universal code of ethics' be formed. If there were guidelines
which indicated that a dog be at risk of being euthanised because of
his situation rather than his health or temperament, perhaps dog owners
would go to more effort to see that their dog does not end up in that
situation. Perhaps the money saved from reducing dog euthanisations
could be put into building more, or extending existing rescue centres.
There is a simpler way of reducing unnecessary dog euthanisations.
Spaying and neutering are frighteningly under valued practices. A
responsible dog owner who does not wish to, or cannot afford to breed
from their dog will always have their dog spayed or neutered, but some
dog owners are not responsible ones. All too often rescue centres become
inundated with litters of dogs which cannot be cared for by the owner.
This merely adds to the problem of over-crowded rescue centres, and it
puts pressure on staff. For every dog that is submitted to a rescue centre,
one dog has to leave. The dog that leaves is not necessarily a dog that
has been adopted, it may just be that the least likely dog to be adopted
or it may the dog that has been in the rescue centre for the longest period
of time. Imagine a young, healthy and well-adjusted dog who's owner died
and has to be taken to a rescue centre. This dog could be the dog which
has spent the most time at the rescue centre and one day an irresponsible
dog owner brings in his litter of 'accidental' puppies. Which dog will
be required to make room? The simple fact is, that irresponsible dog owners
who allow their dogs to breed uncontrollably are adding to an already
huge problem.
Fortunately there are members of society who take it upon
themselves to highlight this problem, and sometimes extreme measures
are taken to really hammer the point home. In fact, a sheriff in Greensboro,
north California, managed to triple the adoption rate of dogs and cats
in his town. He had his own cable access show which he usually used
to address the issues of the week in Greensboro. The problem with over-crowded
rescue centres in the town was so rife that Sheriff televised the euthanisation
of a dog, after explaining the reason behind it. The reason was that the
dog had been at the rescue centre for too long and it looked as if he was
never going to be rescued.
Behavioural problems in dogs often necessitate euthanasia.
This is an issue that has very blurred boundaries. The boundaries in
question are the ones between serious behavioural problems that can
pose a risk to people and other animals, and slight behavioural querks
which can be misconstrued as problematic behavioural deficiencies. Some
cases are clear for all to see, if a dog is dangerously aggressive and
has attacked somebody then sadly, the right option is to have the dog
destroyed. Unfortunately this is the case even if the behavioural problems
are due to the owner's ignorance or negligence, even so it would be
unacceptable to keep such a dog within a society of children and other
vulnerable parties. But what if the dog is not a danger to society,
perhaps a dog is being attacked by a person with behavioural problems
and the dog bites, should the dog then be destroyed? Perhaps money saved
from reduced euthanisations could go towards a fund aimed at treating
dogs with behavioural problems, or is the risk of a dangerous dog in
society too great to be lenient on border-line cases?
If there were some sort of guidelines in place to determine
what criteria demand a dog be put down then perhaps there would be
more care taken to control dogs and their activities. If a dog owner
were forewarned that by allowing his dog to breed uncontrollably, it
could lead to the unnecessary deaths of many other dogs then perhaps he
may take measures to prevent such an outcome. Maybe it wouldn't bother
him in the slightest and only a hefty fine would deter him, but how does
one going about creating a whole new law? Would creating a whole new
law be taking the issue far too far? After all they're just dogs aren't
they?
Whatever opinions people hold, the fact still remains that
far too many dogs are killed for no good reason. Of course to euthanise
a suffering animal seems humane and it is beneficial that this be allowed,
but does the entire practice lead to questionable moral values? Does
the fact that it is socially acceptable to kill our pets if they are
sick lead us to believe that we can kill them if they are not attractive
or badly behaved? Do the benefits of such a practice outweigh the drawbacks?
Perhaps we will never know which dogs would be better off
dead, perhaps the system in place is the best system we will ever
have for looking after man's best friend. After all, it is rare that
a dog lover will see a dog suffering and take no action, and with such
marvellous advances in veterinary medicine maybe there will be less need
to destroy sick or injured dogs. Whatever happens to the practice of euthanasia,
dog owners can be happy in the fact that the intended purpose of it is
to prevent any undue suffering to any animal.
Author: Ryan O'Meara, editor-in-chief K9 Magazine
This article was taken from K9 Magazine, the lifestyle magazine
for dog lovers.
You can get a free sample issue of K9 Magazine inc useful
articles, features and advice at www.dogmagazine.net
All content © K9 Media Ltd & K9 Magazine.
Reprinted with kind permission from Ryan O'Meara
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Do Not Weep
James Wadworth Longfellow
Do not stand at my grave
and weep:
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow;
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight;
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry:
I am not there. I did not die.
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How Will I Know When it's Time?
By Marcia Breitenbach
http://www.griefandlosshelp.com
Pippin needed
assistance from his owner to get to his feet. He slowly walked to
the door, then needed help once again to step down onto the back porch.
With a slight groan, he squatted to relieve himself and came back towards
the house. There was no twinkle in his eye, and this time he needed
to be carried all the way back to his bed. He’d used up his energy for
that day.
I got a call from
Pippin’s owner that day asking me, “Do you think it’s time for me to
put him down?” This wasn’t the first time Pippin’s owner had asked me
this question, nor was it the first time I’d faced this dilemma with
others. As the facilitator of a pet loss group, I had sat with many who
were grieving and reliving the pain of this situation.
For almost everyone
who came to this group who had used euthanasia to assist their animal
companions to ‘the other side,’ there was either the fear that they
had waited too long or that they had done it too soon. Each person doubted
that they had gotten it right.
Every now and then,
I would run across someone who didn’t carry this guilt or doubt. I
learned from them what had helped them to find clarity and peace with
their decision. So, as I spoke to Pippin’s owner that day, I was careful
in what I chose to say, knowing that this decision would affect the person’s
grief journey, as well as their confidence and self-esteem.
Here are some helpful
reminders for making your decision:
1) YOU ARE THE
EXPERT concerning your animal’s care. No one knows them better
than you. Gather information to the best of your ability to help you
in making this decision.
2) Euthanasia
may seem unnatural to some. Consider that “nature” is defied every
day as sick animals have their lives prolonged by surgeries, medicines
and procedures that aren’t necessarily “natural.”
3) Asking
others for input can be helpful, and it can also derail you. Be careful
who you ask and what you ask. If you are going to ask your vet their
opinion, let them know that you will be making this decision and would
like them to give you compassionate feedback, not a lecture or a “you
must do this my way” recommendation. Pay particular attention to their
knowledge about the signposts that indicate your animal is suffering
and what to expect in terms of medical management.
4) Ask your
animal. So many people are afraid to do this. They say, “I’m no Dr.
Doolittle. I can’t talk to them.” This is untrue. We all communicate
with our animals a lot more than we know. Much of it may not catch our
attention because we are so used to it. They put their thoughts into our
minds, as we do with our thoughts and words to them. All it takes is some
quiet and stillness.
Take a pen and
some paper and sit quietly with your animal. Do some stretching and
deep breathing to relax your body. Shut your eyes and have the intention
or say a short prayer to be connected with your animal’s mind and heart.
Say (silently) what you would like to your pet—perhaps something like,
“I can see that your body is losing strength and having a hard time. I
sense that your time to let go of your physical body is coming closer.
I am so sad about this as I will miss you very much. You have brought such
joy and love to my life. And I love you so much that I don’t want you to
suffer during this transition.
Could you tell
me, in some way, whether you would like assistance with this process?
Are you ready to go?” After you say what is in your heart, you must
sit still and keep your mind and heart open. Feel a band of light going
from your pet’s heart to your own. After a period of time, at least ten
minutes, open your eyes and write down thoughts, images or feelings you
had during that time. Trust your perceptions as more than a vivid imagination.
5) More
and more people will call an animal communicator or pet psychic to
speak with the animal. This can be very helpful. Know ahead of time,
if you can, whom you will call and that you can trust their perceptions.
Ask your veterinarian or friends for recommendations.
6) If you
feel you haven’t received any useful information, then ask yourself,
“Which choice will I have less regrets about when this is over?”
7) Sometimes
our pets stay longer because they are worried about us, about whether
we will be ok when they are gone. Have a talk with them and let them
know that it is ok to go when they are ready, that you will be ok. Tell
them that you will grieve their absence, but that you will reach out to
others for support. Sometimes, just getting this permission from you allows
them to die without the assistance of euthanasia.
8) If you
do decide to euthanize, don’t do it alone. Have a friend or family
member accompany you. If you want to be with your animal at the time
of the injection, make sure you do it in a way that minimizes trauma
to you both. Dim the lights if you can. Have a favorite blanket with
you that your pet is cradled in. Speak to them again and tell them of your
love and gratitude for being part of your life and that you will always
be connected…that you will see them again…whatever is in your heart in
that moment.
If s/he is in your
arms, you may want to consider holding the animal so that you are
not gazing into their eyes. It is a personal choice, but one that can
make your grief harder. Many people say they are haunted by what they
felt were painful “why?” or other critical questions in the pet’s eyes
as they died. This is most likely projection of the human’s confusion
and guilt, rather than the animal’s.
9) Decide
in advance how to handle the body. Some cities have pet cemeteries
that will cremate or bury your pet’s body. Having a memorial service
for family and close friends can assist the natural process of grief.
Even with these
tips to help you, know that grief for an animal companion is still hard
work, just as it is for loss of a human companion. Give yourself permission
to grieve, to remember the precious times with them, and know that you
made the best choice you could in your particular moment. There are no
right or wrong choices here. Take comfort knowing that your beloved animal
wasn’t and isn’t judging you. Their love is unconditional and, as the great
spiritual teachers that they are, they are holding you in their hearts,
wherever they may be, wishing for you a happy, guilt-free and purposeful
life.
Marcia
Breitenbach is an author, musician, expressive arts grief therapist,
and presenter. Her 2nd book, The Winds of Change: A Guided Journey
with Healing Music through Grief, Loss & Transformation contains
a CD of original healing music. Visit her at http://www.griefandlosshelp.com
"More resources for handling loss and life challenges at
http://www.themagnificentyou.com
Copyright
© DogsObedienceTraining.com 2004-2005 All Rights Reserved.
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When I am
Gone
When I am gone release
me and let me go
I have too many things
to see and do
You must not tie yourself
to me with tears
Be thankful for our
wonderful years.
I gave to you my love;
you can only guess
How much you gave me
in happiness.
I thank you for the
love you have shown
But now it is time I
travelled alone.
So grieve a while for
me if grieve you must.
Then let your grief
be comforted by trust.
It’s only for a time
that we must part,
So bless the memories
within your heart.
I won’t be far away,
for life goes on.
So if you need me call,
and I will come.
Though you can’t see
or touch me, I’ll be near.
And if you listen with
your heart, you’ll hear.
All me love around you
soft and clear.
And then when you must
pass this way alone,
I’ll greet you with
a wag and say “Welcome Home!”
author unknown
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Loving, losing a pet: Death of animal companion can
be an intense grieving experience
By Thayer Wine
Staff Writer
Anyone who
has loved a pet will, one day, face the loss of that pet. It's
not a fun time and one we often don't know how to handle. After all,
our pet was only an animal, some may think. So why do we feel so sad?
But think about it. ''It's like a little piece of you
is breaking off,'' says Mitch Baker, owner of the Cedar Hills Pet
Cemetery in Columbia.
Grief over the loss of a pet or sadness upon learning
a beloved companion has a terminal illness mirrors the emotions
felt when a human friend or relative dies. If needed, you can turn
to traditional counseling or support services for help, and there are
several Web sites and books dedicated to the subject. Your vet and staffs
at local pet cemeteries or cremation services also can provide support.
''Sometimes people need ceremony,'' says Carol Goodman,
a former veterinary assistant at Two Rivers Veterinary Hospital.
''I think it helps with closure. It also helps you cherish the memories
— it puts the memories in the forefront rather than the loss.''
''The loss is intense,'' she says, recalling the deaths
of her own three cats within the past four years. ''It would have
been nice to have someone to talk to, and have that person go through
the process of euthanasia of your pet with you.''
Veterinary assistants are the ones who usually spend
the most time with the owners, but their time is limited, said Chuck
Gifford, owner of Faithful Friends Pet Memorial Services.
For some people, ''it's equal to the loss of a child,''
Gifford said. ''You take care of them and feed and shelter them
and they give you unconditional love in return.''
''I had a couple that came in with their 13-year-old
German Shepherd, Cona,'' he said. The wife rode in the back of
the truck with the deceased dog from the vet clinic in Goodlettsville
to his facility in the Berry Hill area for cremation. ''She didn't
want the dog to be alone during her last ride.''
Gifford often sits in a quiet place with the pet owners
to listen to their stories and help them cope with their loss. ''We
(he and his wife, Brenda) are not certified counselors, but by the
end of the time we've spent with them, they feel better,'' he said.
''It doesn't make the loss any easier, but it makes it easier for them
to get on with life.
''We know what they are going through. My wife and
I both grew up with pets (and have had to face loss),'' he said.
The Giffords found a book that helped them through
their personal grief and they recommend it to others: Will I See
Fido in Heaven by Mary Buddemeyer-Porter (Eden, $9.99).
Resources
• www.iaopc.com — Web site of the International Association
of Pet Cemeteries; offers online thoughts about grieving and gives
links to counsellors who specialize in grieving pet loss.
• www.aplb.org — Web site of the Association for Pet
Loss and Bereavement.
• www.pet-loss.net —Online resource with information
and links for those who have lost a pet.
• www.creaturesinheaven.com — Online resource for the
book Will I See Fido in Heaven and other pet grief support material.
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Old Dog
Marcia Schler
When old dog had to die
After long years filled with love and honour
When the weight of time grew wearying
and she was content to have it finished
I brought my old dog to our friend.
Old dog lay soft against me
old eyes already closed, waiting.
Our friends hand was gentle
on the weary body with its ragged fur.
So gentle to find the frail small vein
where death could enter.
Difficult
Old blood runs sluggish,
old veins slackly resisting.
So patient, our friend, his knowing hands
all I can see through silent tears.
I watch capable strong hands lightly coaxing
and at the last the small red flower
blooms briefly in the crystal
before he eases the plunger in.
Old dog only sighs very softly.
The weary heart slows and stops
as the joyful spirit leaps free.
We wait a quiet moment, my tears
dropping unheeded into the soft fur.
Our friend withdraws, his gentle hands
leaving old dog's cast-off body.
My head bowed over the weathered white mask
for a moment
before I let her lie by herself
and draw the blanket over her.
I wish the old dog had made it easier for him
To bring even a kindly death brings sadness.
He asked how many years she had, and
I heard more than that in his voice.
I wish I could thank him
for keeping zest in her years
for making a good end of them
for his capable hands
for gentle words
for caring heart.
I took the old dog home
and laid her as if sleeping
wrapped in her worn blanket
and sheltered deep in the kindly silent earth.
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Pet Euthanasia:
When It's Time for Your Pet to Go
Written by Tracy Hargraves
Friday, 01 June 2007
One of the most
troubling things in life is having to deal with a seriously ill pet,
a pet that literally is on its last legs. As a corollary of that trauma,
one of the most difficult decisions that a person can face in life is
making the determination as to whether or not the time has come to euthanize
a beloved companion animal.
There are some factors that you can weigh and balance to assist
you in your own decision making process when it comes to dealing with
end of life issues of a much loved pet.
The Issue is About Your Pet -- Not You
Oftentimes when a person has a very ill pet, you hear that
person make statements to the effect of:
"I am really going to Miss Rover" or "I don't know what I
will do without Fluffy" or (worst of all) "I am going to keep Boxer
until the bitter end."
In other words, these men and women are putting their own
feelings and interests before those of their pet. They seem to be
overlooking the fact that it is the pet that is in dire pain.
When it comes to making these life or death decisions involving
your pet, it is important to keep in mind that while you might have
feelings, it is the feelings of your pet -- particularly the pain your
pet is suffering -- that must be your paramount concern.
Consult with a Vet Early and Often
It is very important that you keep your vet closely involved
in the process of determining when the time is right to euthanize your
pet. Your vet will have been down this road many times. You vet will
be able to five you unbiased and coolheaded advice about whether or
not the time has come to bring about your pet's final passing.
It also is very important that you take your vet's advice
seriously. There really will be no reason for you not to follow the
advice of your vet if he or she finally concludes that the time has
arrived to euthanize your companion animal. As mentioned, your vet
will be unbiased and objective and will be better able to gauge what
level of pain your pet is going through.
Should You be There for the End?
One question that may be haunting you is whether or not you
should be present in the room when the time comes to euthanize your
pet. In fact, some vet clinics have rules against having owners in the
room during that procedure. Therefore the question actually may be resolved
for you from the start. You may not even have the option of being present
in the procedure room for the procedure.
However, if the vet or clinic does give you the option to
be present at the time your pet actually is euthanized, you need to
be very thoughtful about the decision you make. The ultimate question
needs to be whether or not you can really provide your pet with any true
comfort during those final moments and how painful the procedure will
be for you. This is the juncture in the whole process when you can think
of your own feelings and emotions. Moreover, you will not want to have
the memory of your pet's death be the final memory that is etched into
your mind.
Article
Source: http://www.ArticleBlast.com
About The
Author:
Just like
your pets at home, pet portrait paintings have become significant parts
of your family portraiture. Pet photography have been raised a level
higher as pet portrait artists like Tracy Hargraves painted exact
pet images from photos into oil paintings.
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I Stood
By Your Bed
I stood
by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times your hands reached out to
me.
I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "it's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there.
It's possible for me to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew ...
In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is almost over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "goodnight, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to
see.
Be patient, live your journey out ... then come home to be with
me.
Author unknown
(Found on the Husky bulletin board on AOL)
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******************
Etiquette for People Facing the Loss of a Valued Animal
Bonnie S. Mader
While these are written specifically with the veterinarian
in mind, they have a lot to offer anyone who has a friend who has lost
a pet.
DO....
Give support.
Provide the opportunity to talk about feelings and concerns--before,
during and after a loss.
Educate about any medical procedure or treatment carefully, using
lay terms. Provide written information whenever possible. Be sure to
educate thoroughly about the euthanasia procedure BEFORE it happens.
Explain how euthanasia solution helps an animal to die and how the body
responds to the solution. If scheduling does not allow for this, gently
describe what you are doing while you are performing the euthanasia.
Ask people to share memories of the animal (or any loved one)
Reminisce about fond memories you have of the animal--anytime.
Use the animal's name...even after the animal has died.
Provide a hug, a squeeze of the hand, or touch on the shoulder-whatever
you feel comfortable doing. With some people you don't know well, you
may need to ask permission first: "Would it be okay if I gave you a hug?"
Listen more than talk.
Know that depression and anger are normal emotions and expressions
of grief, just as are unusual behaviours. Be accepting and patient; do
not take a grieving person's negative attitudes or behaviours personally--give
them a lot of room for not doing things "better."
Say, "There's nothing I can really say right now to change things
or make you feel better, although I wish I could. I want you to know
that I am here for you." (Mean what you say. )
Cry with them if it feels natural to you. Maintain your professionalism
so that you are able to follow through with the job at hand. Allow yourself
to be more emotional latter. Keep up with your own grief work.
Send a condolence note signed by members of your staff, with personal
comments about the animal and how he or she will be missed.
For special clients, send flowers and/ or make a follow-up phone
call, i.e. "We’ve been thinking of you here at the clinic and we're wondering
how you are doing?"
Send a donation in the deceased animal's name to an organization
that benefits animals
Always give clients information about a local pet loss support
group to attend and/or Pet Loss Support Hotline to call. While it is kind
to share your own compassion and support, additional support services are
beneficial in ways you are not trained for, or have the time to provide.
Make it a habit of giving this type of information to every client dealing
with the loss of an animal. This way you are letting your clients decide if
they want to pursue additional help, rather than you possibly assessing incorrectly
who needs it and who does not.
Don't say....
I know how you feel.
He/ she isn't suffering any more.
Everything happens for a reason.
He/she is in a better place.
All clouds have a silver lining.
It's a blessing.
You were lucky to have him/her this long.
Think of all your precious memories.
Only the good die young.
You think you've got it bad...
Life goes on.
It's been two months (or however long); you shouldn't still be
so sad.
If I were you, I would have done it (or would do it) this way.
Why did you do that?
Time will heal.
Faith teaches us to be strong.
Think of only the good times.
When my animal died...
It's probably for the best.
All Seal Point Siamese look the same. Just get another one
Most of us have said some of these "don't say" comments at one
point or another. In fact, some of these comments have a lot of truth
to them. Life does go on. Time often does heal, or at least lessen, enormous
heartache. The ending of suffering is good. The thing to keep in mind
is that when a person is experiencing an acute sense of loss, logic is
not comforting. With acute grief, simply acknowledging the sadness and
overwhelming sense of loss is appropriate and is more helpful.
Don't ever say, "You know, you can always get another animal.
As a matter of fact, I know of one who needs a home right now." This comment
does not acknowledge the unique relationship the person has lost. People
need to grieve and be validated for the feelings they are having about
this specific loss. It is impossible to recreate lost relationships with
another being who is, in itself, unique (even if the same breed). The length
of time, and way a person needs to mourn varies with each individual.
Telling a person that she/he can simply replace a relationship
by getting a new dog/ cat/iguana/ parakeet/horse, etc., is similar to
telling a parent who has lost a child that she/he can always have another
one..
©Bonnie S. Mader
reprinted with kind permission from Catherine de la Cruz
*************************
The Gift
I'll lend you
for a little while
My grandest dog he said.
For you to love while he's alive
And mourn for when he's gone.
It may be one or twenty years,
Or days or months, you see.
But, will you, till I take him back
Take care of him for me?
He'll bring charms to gladden you,
And should his stay be brief
You'll have treasured memories
As solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return.
But, there are lessons taught on earth
I want this dog to learn.
I've looked the wide world over
In my search for teachers true.
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes
With trust I have selected you.
Now will you give him your total love?
Nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate Me when I come
To take him back again?
I know you'll give him tenderness
And love will bloom each day.
And for the happiness you've known
Forever grateful stay.
But should I come and call for him
Much sooner than you'd planned
You'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And someday you'll understand.
Author Unknown
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by Crystal Ward Kent
When you bring a pet
into your life, you begin a journey - a journey that will bring you more
love and devotion than you have ever known, yet also test your strength
and courage.
If you allow, the journey will teach you many things, about life,
about yourself, and most of all, about love. You will come away changed
forever, for one soul cannot touch another without leaving its
mark.
Along the way, you will learn much about savoring life's simple
pleasures - jumping in leaves, snoozing in the sun, the joys of
puddles, and even the satisfaction of a good scratch behind the ears.
If you spend much time outside, you will be taught how to truly
experience every element, for no rock, leaf, or log will go unexamined,
no rustling bush will be overlooked, and even the very air will
be inhaled, pondered, and noted as being full of valuable information.
Your pace may be slower - except when heading home to the food dish -
but you will become a better naturalist, having been taught by
an expert in the field.
Too many times we hike on automatic pilot, our goal being to complete
the trail rather than enjoy the journey. We miss the details - the colorful
mushrooms on the rotting log, the honeycomb in the old maple snag, the
hawk feather caught on a twig. Once we walk as a dog does, we discover
a whole new world. We stop; we browse the landscape, we kick over leaves,
peek in tree holes, look up, down, all around. And we learn what any dog
knows: that nature has created a marvelously complex world that is full
of surprises, that each cycle of the seasons bring ever changing wonders,
each day an essence all its own.
Even from indoors you will find yourself more attuned to the world
around you. You will find yourself watching summer insects collecting
on a screen. (How bizarre they are! How many kinds there are!), or noting
the flick and flash of fireflies through the dark. You will stop to observe
the swirling dance of windblown leaves, or sniff the air after a rain.
It does not matter that there is no objective in this; the point is in
the doing, in not letting life's most important details slip by.
You will find yourself doing silly things that your pet-less friends
might not understand: spending thirty minutes in the grocery aisle
looking for the cat food brand your feline must have, buying dog birthday
treats, or driving around the block an extra time because your pet enjoys
the ride.
You will roll in the snow, wrestle with chewie toys, bounce little
rubber balls till your eyes cross, and even run around the house trailing
your bathrobe tie - with a cat in hot pursuit - all in the name of love.
Your house will become muddier and hairier. You will wear less
dark clothing and buy more lint rollers. You may find dog biscuits in
your pocket or purse, and feel the need to explain that an old plastic
shopping bag adorns your living room rug because your cat loves the crinkly
sound.
You will learn the true measure of love - the steadfast, undying
kind that says, "It doesn't matter where we are or what we do, or how
life treats us as long as we are together." Respect this always. It is
the most precious gift any living soul can give another. You will not find
it often among the human race.
And you will learn humility. The look in my dog's eyes often made
me feel ashamed. Such joy and love at my presence. She saw not
some flawed human who could be cross and stubborn, moody or rude,
but only her wonderful companion. Or maybe she saw those things and dismissed
them as mere human foibles, not worth considering, and so chose to love
me anyway.
If you pay attention and learn well, when the journey is done,
you will be not just a better person, but the person your pet always knew
you to be - the one they were proud to call beloved friend.
I must caution you that this journey is not without pain. Like
all paths of true love, the pain is part of loving. For as surely as
the sun sets, one day your dear animal companion will follow a trail you
cannot yet go down. And you will have to find the strength and love to
let them go. A pet's time on earth is far too short - especially for those
that love them. We borrow them, really, just for awhile, and during these
brief years they are generous enough to give us all their love, every inch
of their spirit and heart, until one day there is nothing left.
The cat that only yesterday was a kitten is all too soon old and
frail and sleeping in the sun. The young pup of boundless energy
wakes up stiff and lame, the muzzle now gray. Deep down we somehow always
knew that this journey would end. We knew that if we gave our hearts they
would be broken.
But give them we must for it is all they ask in return. When the
time comes, and the road curves ahead to a place we cannot see, we give
one final gift and let them run on ahead - young and whole once more. "Godspeed,
good friend," we say, until our journey comes full circle and our paths
cross again.
reprinted with kind permission from Catherine de la Cruz
******************
May I Go?
May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days
and endless lonely nights?
I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and living light.
I want to go
I really do.
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid,
because I see your tears
I'll not be far,
I promise that, and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go
Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you too,
that's why it's hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.
So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today
Written for a beloved pet & friend.by Susan A. Jackson
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*****************
Why Dogs
don't Live As Long As People
Out of the mouths of Babes!
Being a veterinarian,
I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker.
The dog's owners; Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane were
all very attached to Belker and they were hoping for a miracle. I examined
Belker and found he was dying of cancer.
I told the family there were no miracles left for Belker, and
offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their
home. As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would
be good for the four-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt
Shane could learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's
family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the
last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on.
Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little
boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion.
We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about
the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who
had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why." Startled, we all turned
to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me - I'd never heard a more
comforting explanation.
He said, "Everybody is born so that they can learn how to live
a good life - like loving everybody and being nice, right?" The four-year-old
continued, "Well, animals already know how to do that, so they don't
have to stay as long."
Linda Bobo
***********************
Eternal Guardian
At the closing
of this day,
when daylight ceased and nighttime came
to cloak the pastures in soft dreaming tones,
my dear guardian left my side.
Gone to guard those that went before her,
leaving me behind.
To that gentle spirit who graced my life,
I give my whispered thanks and murmuring of love.
Guarding me no longer, but eternally guarding my soul
.
MaryBeth Vaudrin in honor of
Ch. Four Oaks Stardrift Siri
9/11/86 to 8/2/98
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The Rainbow Bridge
Author - an unknown pet owner
Just this side of heaven
is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially
close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows
and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm
and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health
and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again,
just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The
animals are happy and contaent, except for one small thing - they each
miss someone very special to them, someone who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly
stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager
body begins to quiver. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying
over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally
meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.
The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved
head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long
gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
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The House Dog's
Grave
(Haig, an English bulldog)
I've changed my ways a little,
I cannot now
Run with you in the evenings along the shore,
Except in a kind of dream; and you, if you dream a moment
You see me there.
So leave awhile the paw-marks on the front door
Where I used to scratch to go out or in,
And you'd soon open; leave on the kitchen floor
The marks of my drinking-pan.
I cannot lie by your fire as I used to do
On the warm stone,
Nor at the foot your bed; no, all the nights through
I lie alone.
But your kind thought has laid me less than six feet
Outside your window where firelight so often plays,
And where you sit to read -- and I fear often grieving for me
--
Every night your lamplight lies on my place.
You, man and woman, live so long, it is hard
To think of you ever dying.
A little dog would get tired, living so long.
I hope that you when you are lying
Under the ground like me your lives will appear
As good and joyful as mine.
No, dears, that's too much hope: you are not so well cared for
As I have been.
And never have known the passionate undivided
Fidelities that I knew.
Your minds are perhaps too active, too many-sided . . . .
But to me you were true.
You were never masters, but friends. I was your friend.
I loved you well, and was loved. Deep love endures
To the end and far past the end. If this is my end,
I am not lonely. I am not afraid. I am still yours.
Robinson Jeffers, Selected Poems
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Amazingly there are companies
that can use the carbon from a dogs ashes to make a high quality certified
diamond that can be set into a piece of jewellery. For some people
this is the ultimate tribute to their dog. Plus people may be attracted
by the fact that the diamond is ethically sourced and does not come with
the environmental and social issues of mining for natural ones.
This service certainly isn't cheap and starts at around £987 and
can go up or down depending on how extravagant your taste in diamonds is.
For those who find this too morbid some companies can create a diamond
from your dogs hair or nails so you can have a jewel made from your dog's
carbon while he is still very much alive.
Diamonds are basically carbon.
What nature takes millions of years to create, technicians can create
in just a few months from specially treated carbon derived from a process
using the last remnants of your loved-pet. Turn it into diamond ring or bracelet
or jewellery.
These are real diamonds [not CZ or Moissanite] and though created in a
laboratory, they possess the exact same characteristics of mined diamonds,
they are cut and polished in exactly the same way, to be set as a pendant
or as a diamond ring.
What better memorial for your pet than turning it into a precious gem
to last for ever.
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